May 29, 2014. Quiet Day.

 

 

 

May 29, 2014.  Quiet Day.  Mom and pop hardware stores are a man's fairyland.  We needed some AA batteries so I volunteered "to go" to the Ace hardware store in Sister Bay yesterday while Annie Farkley "looked around" in a clothing store across the street.  We both know that "looking around" is an euphemism for woman-shopping.  We also know that "going into" a hardware store is an euphemism for man-shopping.  Neither of us will admit to actually shopping, so we use other words to conceal what we are actually doing.  That is what 46 years of marriage will do to you.  You learn to speak in code.  Show me a comfortably old married couple and I'll show you two code-talkers the equivalent of Navajo soldiers during World War II.

So, I entered the hardware store and was welcomed by one of the several sales assistants whose name tag identified him as Ace.  I asked for batteries and Ace took me to the battery rack.  I asked for mosquito spray; he took me to aisle four.  A rubber stopper for Annie's bike's kickstand was on aisle seven and the electric tape to affix it was on aisle nine.  I was on a role and I am afraid I went a bridge too far.  I asked for a tiny screw which holds the crank for the TV antenna in Harvey.  Ace struck out.  It was on none of the aisles.  So, we trooped to the register and Ace gave me a small paper bag with my purchases and change from a twenty-dollar bill.  I thanked him and called him again by name.  I like to do that because it personalizes things with the salesperson.  "Uh, actually," he said, "Ace is the name of the hardware store.  I am Bob."

I am not sure that skulking is exactly the right word to describe how I left the store, but it sounds about right.  I left with shoulders slumped and eyes diverted like a small boy who farted in church.  Of course his name was not Ace.  Ace is the name of the store.  How could I have been so stupid.  Well, it is what I do.  That's me.  Egads. 

So, after a day of "going to" and "looking around" we biked through the Park as the sun settled.  I hope you enjoy the low-light pictures.  Want a good picture?  Shoot it in the hour before sunset.  It is hard to mess that up.  Just call me Ace.