May 26, 2017. The Herdmans Arrive.

May 26, 2017.  The Herdmans Arrive.  I described Jellystone as bedlam yesterday.  I probably understated the craziness happening here.  Someone three sites down from us has had their music turned to 10 and is a lover of country music.  Merle Haggard has been singing "Mamma Tried" most of the afternoon.  The residents are playing some yard game which is stimulating great enthusiasm, likely aided by generous portions of beer.

Then, late this morning, the Herdmans arrived.  You remember the Herdmans, from the "Best Little Christmas Pageant Ever."  They pulled in behind Harvey and kids just kept pouring out of an older Suburban.  First was a boy, about ten years old.  Following the boy were three girls, ages 2, 3 and 5, as best I could tell.  Mom had pink and orange hair and was nearly full term with child number five. She was wearing a swim suit which barely covered child number five in front and failed to cover her fully in the back.  Dad was wearing a black tee-shirt with the sleeves cut off at the shoulders.  The chaos was just beginning.

After unloading enough gear to support a full Army division from the Suburban, Dad tried to set up their tent.  He laid a hammer on a cooler.  As soon as he turned away from it, one of the smaller girls picked up the hammer and disappeared with it.  He and Mom soon had the tent up and he fished stakes from the tent bag.  Then he turned to the cooler for the hammer.  Of course, it was gone.  He looked all around the ground near the tent for it unavailingly.  Finally, he picked up a stick of firewood and used it to drive in the tent stakes.

In the meantime, the three girls were running all over the campground.  They were in the cooler drinking soda from two-liter bottles.  Mom, who turned out to be - understandably - a yeller, would gather them back to their site then try to help Dad set up camp.  The girls took off as soon as Mom turned her back.

The three-year-old came onto our site and spun the wheels of the bikes which were mounted on the rear of Harvey.  She then noticed the unoccupied tents next to us.  She toddled over and tried to look under them.  The boy came and carried her back.  As soon as he put her down, she ran back to the unoccupied tent and disappeared inside.  The five-year-old girl came and drug, litterally, drug her out. I could not begin to estimate the number of chiggers who enjoyed the ride.

Five minutes later, the two-year-old dropped her drawers near the cooler and answered the call of nature.  Mom yelled again.  By this time, the three-year-old had set up housekeeping in a tent which belonged to someone else.  All this occurred while we watched from inside Harvey.

Soon, the boy was standing in front of our door.  He rapped loudly and asked Annie if they could have our picnic table.  I went to the door as Dad stepped up.  Someone had taken their table and they needed ours for lunch.  They probably did need it more than us, so I helped him carry it to their campsite.

And, so it went most of the afternoon.  Annie and I were trying to read outside in the puffy chairs, but the Herdmans held our rapt attention.  I doubt if I read more than 25 pages in two hours.  The younger girls kept going into the neighbor's tent.  Papa, Mom's dad,  showed up and another tent went up with stakes driven into the ground with a stick of firewood.  The boy stood behind the picnic table and he too answered the call of nature in his pants.  At first I thought he was pouring water on the ground.  I was wrong.  Mom yelled, again.  Then, the boy changed his pants outside their tent.  He put on shorts three sizes too big and walked around the balance of the day holding his pants up with his hand.

Dad and the five-year-old girl left in the Suburban and soon returned with the girl driving the vehicle while sitting in Dad's lap.  Papa later drove his car through our campsite to get something from the store.  He returned the same way he left.  With all this going on, the children kept returning to the picnic table, our picnic table, and chugged more Mountain Dew from two-liter bottles.  The girls kept going into the unoccupied tent and Mom yelled, again.

I wish you could have been here.  When we came inside for the night, we locked away everything we had outside and then we locked the door to Harvey.  The little girls are cute, but I don't want them coming inside while we are asleep.  With all the Mountain Dew they've had today, I doubt they will sleep at all.

So, that's been our day.  Was your day as interesting?  I doubt it.

Goodnight.